Conflicted.

I am very conflicted. I feel torn between two different states: Iowa vs Oregon. I don't know what to do. On one hand, I want to be near my family. We are all very close. My siblings and I are all close in age and life situation. My sister is expecting her first baby and it pains me to think I will be the aunt out in Oregon that rarely visits but sends cool gifts every now and again. I remember my own absent aunts, I really don't want to be that but I don't see how it is unavoidable. Another point is that Iowa is so affordable. There is no question on whether we could afford a home. But Iowa is flat. Iowa is boring. And there is not a hint of an ocean nearby.

While Iowa is so affordable, Oregon is beautiful. And much of our dreams involve the area here (camping, hiking, going to the coast). I am starting to appreciate Oregon more and more: the greenery, the earth conscience culture, the outdoor activities. Oregon life is so much apart of our life. All my in-laws live in Oregon. And Brenden's never lived anywhere else. We really like it here. My first little niece Makayla is here. And while Brenden's siblings get older, I feel like we can connect to them better. I wouldn't want to miss out on any of their lives or have them miss out on ours.

No matter what we decide, somebody will be left out. Somebody will miss out on their grandchildren's everyday life. Somebody will miss us. Somebody already misses us. Oh gosh, this is such a conflict in my heart.

Can I just move everybody to the same town?